Late Nights

For a short while it was a New Year's resolution of mine to go to bed early, but as the semester has progressed, my old habits have come back and i'm seeing sleep around midnight to 1:00 a.m. I have decided that if I could just absorb energy from the sun, that would be optimal. Then, I could stand in the sunshine for say, an hour, and then quickly get back to various tasks throughout the day, and stay up into the night. Oh well, i'm sure God knew exactly what he was doing when he made us to sleep.

As i said before, the past few weeks have been largely spent hanging out with girls who are in my PC, as we are all living on the same side of the house. It is funny to me how much closer we are getting by just living on the same side of the house. A few weeks ago, we had a spur-of-the-moment movie day/night and laughed as we watched the late Heath Ledger woo Julia Stiles in all of its 90s glory.

The other day as i was walking across campus I got the distinct feeling that I was a lot farther from being a child at the beginning of the year. It's weird, because I can't even really describe it. It was like, all of the sudden i'm more of an adult, making my own decisions, and caring a whole lot less about the opinion of the world as opposed to last year, or two, even three years, when practically every decision I made was based on what I thought other people would think.

God has been continually restoring my faith by his usual methods. Love notes. These have been mostly been taking form in compliments from my sisters, lines in love songs, or just moments when I take a deep breath of fresh air, and I am suddenly very thankful that I had the blessing of being able to do simply that; breathe.

Speaking of love notes. A few weeks ago, we had an assignment in my English class to write an essay entitled "This I believe". The guidelines were obvious, write about something you believe in, but not necessarily the stereotypical, or general things one would immediately revert to. I decided I would write about the love notes that i receive from God everyday.

This is what I wrote:

I believe in looking at the mundane to find joys in every day living. Finding joys throughout the day are a great way to add value to a struggling college student, because often times college can be strenuous, boring, stressful, etc. This belief largely stems from my faith, which is that God would send his only son to die on a cross for all of humanity so we could be in relationship with him. These little joys serve as a reminder that His promise to do this was fulfilled. I guess it could be the romantic in me, or the artist, because searching for beauty is not what every person who believes what I believe, does. I’ll never forget, though, the several instances where I have felt overwhelmed because of the natural beauty around me. Once, just last semester when I was walking through the Admin Lawn at the University of Idaho, the leaves were changing, and the whole canopy above me was rippling with hues of yellow, orange, green, and red. Leaves of every shape made almost a stained-glass effect, and the lawn was basking in this autumn light. I also was seemingly the only person walking on the lawn, which made the experience that much more beautiful. My iPod was playing Mumford & Sons’ “Dust Bowl Dance”. The combination of the Autumn light, eclectic music, and beating heart in my chest gave me a thrill of being alive. A question prodded my mind: “How many people just have the joy of walking? How many have a heart that is capable of keeping up with its body? How many can use their lungs properly?” All of these and their realizations were gifts to me that day.

Another time was when I was a child, playing in our backyard. It had just snowed and I had to have been six or seven. My older brothers were at school, and I was hanging out by myself like I usually did. Snow was falling and it was the most silent I had ever heard the world to that point. Being an imaginative child, I had been playing all day fighting against snowmen and women to maintain authority over the backyard using the snow leftover by the day before’s dump. Until the present snowfall, I guess I had not fully experienced it. The effect of watching those giant flakes was magical, and I was almost certain the world around me had ceased to exist for a short moment, and that I was all alone in my backyard just me and the world. I felt a distinctive ping of individuality. That I was the only one like myself, and that I could accomplish whatever I set my mind to.

As I grew older, so did my appreciation for different joys. Small joys could be anything from a genuine compliment, to a friend asking you how you’re doing, to that just-after-the-rain smell. In my case it was the rippling natural cathedral of the University of Idaho’s Admin Lawn and my childhood backyard. Small Joys are literally everywhere every day, little treasures begging to be noticed and sought after like a crustacean on a sandy beach. Looking at these little joys, or reflecting on these moments show me that I am loved and cared for. I know it may seem to some it’s out of a Nicholas Spark’s romance novel, and it may sound extremely cheesy and corny, but what can I say? I’m a hopeless romantic, and I believe in finding the joys in every day living.  

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In addition to our essay, we had to present it in class. I was extremely nervous for this, but God totally provided with other students who also had a little Jesus in their lives, which greatly encouraged me. When i was finished with my presentation, I wasn't greeted with an angry mob like i had prepared myself for. Class went on as usual, and we were excused without incident. When we received our papers back, i saw i had received one of the highest grades in the class. 

Lesson: God provides. Obvi.

As i conclude this post, it is indeed, true to form, 12:22 a.m. and I am heading to bed... eventually. I have a response to an article due, and I guess I should just get used to late nights, because that is one of the many lessons of college. Like learning to laugh at yourself, being productive even when you don't feel motivated, and so many others, time management is definitely a lesson of college.

I hope this blog has been encouraging to you, and if it is, tell your friends! A huge thank you to my support system back home! I couldn't do life without you, literally. 

~Alyse :)